Strength

Yesterday, Bill’s boss told me he heard, from the memorial in Michigan, a coworker comment that I was the strongest person/woman he met.

I don’t feel strong.

I take a t-shirt last night and use it as a pillowcase to breathe him in–laying beside this inanimate object has the faintest reminder of his nearness.

It comforted me, felt intimate.

“God, your intimacy feels absent right now.”

Naked from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

Maybe, just maybe He’s right there with me.

I just am not feeling Him at the moment.

Either way, I know, Lord, you are near to the broken hearted.

Keep me from breaking please. I want to bless you through burdens, trials, times of silence.

I love you Lord. I don’t understand why Bill, why now. But I know he is with You now. Near.