Scales

I’ve avoided the scale for the entire month, knowing if I weighed and didn’t see results, it may, not by itself, but combined with any emotional downturn, cause excuses to why there’s no point to be on this program—because the scale has always been an influencer in my reactive behavior. 

But today I decided to check. The pants felt a bit loose, so I slowly stepped on, and not that I will reveal such numbers with friends, let alone strangers, but let’s just say it is heading down. Enter sigh of relief—and elation. 

It’s been going up for some time. On alcohol-free stints before, I’d weigh myself after three or four days, and when the scale remained the same, I’d just go back to drinking again, wondering if the upward weight shift was a result of edibles, and not alcohol. 

Then I travel the internet and justify that alcohol actually helps one lose weight in some obscure article when one looks for justification of behavior, and wants permission to override the already faltering will. 

I know vanity shouldn’t be such a motivator, but honestly, it is. 

Today though I will accept the feeling of lightness in my step. Oddly, I’m feeling lighter too in my mood just by reading the days in order from the beginning. Likely I haven’t arrived at the magic, but magic is indeed in the air.