Posts

Cupcakes and Coronavirus

I lay in bed in the middle of the night, sweaty. Higher temperatures and rising humidity; my cool air is not as cool. Apparently neither is my contentment. I feel calm slipping away with my income. Not a slow trickle, but gaping hole in my account. If it continues at this pace, the reservoir will…

Stories to Guide Our Way

For a few weeks I’ve pondered the direction of this blog moving forward. Since 2015, at the onset of Bill’s illness, it has primarily centered around coping and maneuvering around life, when life is in chaos–and the aftershocks of earth-shattering grief, when life changes after death. Lately, I’ve thought of my calling in life. The…

The End of the Q-tip Era is Upon Me

I see the Q-tip, actually I feel her presence, before I notice her physically in front of me on the foreign ground. A park–actually the space between the park, and the parking lot. I meant to hike my familiar one, but for whatever reason, it was closed off to the trails outside the main thoroughfare,…

A New Narrative Takes Time and Reflection

Two things tucked away made their way to me recently, and are catalysts to this new narrative I speak of in the title. One I discovered in the back of my grandmother’s bible–a letter from one of my girls. How it made its way there, I do not know. I brought this bible home last…

You’re Still the One

A song from long ago enters my earbuds at the onset of a run I’m hoping will help subdue the emotional heartache within:  You’re Still the One, by Shania Twain. You’re still the one I run to–even though you feel like an apparition just out of reach. I remember when we unofficially made this “our…

White Balloons and Rising Up

What happens when crazy faith transitions into fading faith? The answer to this question I wasn’t even asking, are in the moments below. I hope it encourages us to take steps, leaps, jumps toward a faith without safety nets and training wheels and other safety devices that keep one from feeling the adrenaline of a…

Yes, I’m a Resolution Kind of Girl

The other day I heard a podcast featuring Dave Hollis, from a series by Jen Hatmaker, which focused on finishing strong. He offered a few questions relevant to the ends of years, and decades. Ones that I plan to sit down and ponder at some point after 2020 officially begins: What did I fill my…

New Life Motto

This is the only life I get to live. I don’t want to arrive at the end and wish I’d lived differently. Or worse, regret that I didn’t live at all.  

Warm and Fuzzies

You feel a bit absent lately–like I can’t feel your nearness Lord. I know you’re with me. I know I don’t need warm fuzzies all the time. I just love you, and well, love is also a feeling–like a thick, soft blanket at the end of the bed–pulled up to the neck when it’s chilly…

While We Can’t Go Back Home…

I had to go back home recently, to the old home a few miles and heartache away. I hadn’t traveled there since late May, when after closing I’d drive through the neighborhood aimlessly–lost as a puppy who is taken from her litter prematurely. It didn’t take long to realize this created more harm than good…