Posts

Warm and Fuzzies

You feel a bit absent lately–like I can’t feel your nearness Lord. I know you’re with me. I know I don’t need warm fuzzies all the time. I just love you, and well, love is also a feeling–like a thick, soft blanket at the end of the bed–pulled up to the neck when it’s chilly…

While We Can’t Go Back Home…

I had to go back home recently, to the old home a few miles and heartache away. I hadn’t traveled there since late May, when after closing I’d drive through the neighborhood aimlessly–lost as a puppy who is taken from her litter prematurely. It didn’t take long to realize this created more harm than good…

Light in Dark Spaces

I knew the exact placement of the tree in my new home, well before the Halloween candy had a chance to go clearance in the grocery store aisle. Actually its placement chose itself well before–prior to the picking of cabinets, or flooring, or even the lot on which the home would land. It will sit…

Do We Know THIS God? Part Five: Callings

Only God. Only God would go out of His way to give me a specific answer, time and time again, after questioning my path in life. This happens to be the first of MANY throughout the years. 2013 – A Little Birdie Told Me It was a small clip in a movie that captured my…

Emotional Amnesia

Christmas music plays into my ears as I type this. Yes, I know it is too soon. But the temperatures have dipped below 90 degrees for days and I can’t help myself. Besides the season is nearly upon us. Okay, maybe nearly is a bit premature. Music has a way of stirring strong emotion. Maybe…

Relating to Another Character

I’m rereading a book I read only a couple months ago. It was given to me by a friend after she felt “led” to do so–resisting at first the nudge, but reluctantly gave in. I devoured it in a day–looking for the reason behind such nudges, and found some nuggets that surely have assisted in…

One Year List

It is so common to hear the question, “If you had only one year to live, how would you live, or what would you do?” Or something of that sort. I wonder though, maybe because hindsight is the greatest teacher, when told of Bill’s diagnosis, the flippant 6-12 months, likely six, how difficult it is…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 30)

Done. Over. Not the program, just me introspecting on this process. Sometimes I feel like if I continue to focus on it, I’ll want it more. Even if the focus is to not, the thoughts just make me think of it.  Like moderation versus abstinence. Moderation has a continual thought process, while abstinence is absence…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 29)

I had a horrid dream last night–the one you wake up, only to fall asleep and continue on in the same spot you left off.  The end of the world is about to happen. Likely hurricane season and the news are responsible, but there’s a catastrophic wave in the near distance, and as a result,…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 28)

This is why I share–so others know they are not alone out there in a battle. The world is lonely enough. The loneliness I feel is only enhanced with alcohol, and then depression has its way with me–surrounds me and slowly sucks the life out of me. Like a canary in a coal mine, alone,…