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In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 10)

The 50th birthday party sits circled on the calendar for this weekend. No, not mine. That was last year, and without hardy any fanfare. A friends. No, a close friend. Still, I feel anxiety creep up, and in, and seep away my contentment. And it is still two days away. I know it is difficult…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 9)

She lay there with her spots displaying her youth. Dead before her time. Her lashes up close cause me to choke back emotion; long and thick they are like the ones you pay good money for if not blessed through genetics.  A beautiful deer, gone at the likelihood of an unexpected car.  A casualty of…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 8)

Week two begins today. One weekend behind me. Actually it wasn’t too bad, with the exception of too many hippie bars. Still, a little sugar to get me to success is worth it.  I happen upon an old journal, one that has three days worth of writings on a journey I began, only to fail…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 7)

Real life has edges that are rough– sometimes we catch a corner and occasionally bleed.

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 6)

I heard the other day of what’s called the ‘1000-mile rule’—that if you are far enough away from home, that it doesn’t need to count. Maybe it’s a sister saying to, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” I have only made it five days, and it feels like a 1000-mile hike uphill. Exaggerated. But…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 5)

I love to watch transformations on Facebook, the ones where the person sits in the stylist’s chair, and has went without either a haircut, or hair color, for long enough to notice there will be a drastic change, all while sitting there for a couple hours.  But then with only seeing a clip here and…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 4)

A few weeks ago I fell asleep during a movie, only to wake up at the end, and replying to my daughter’s question of whether I enjoyed it or not, “Yes, it was good.” How would I know though, really?  I’d slept through the middle, with only bookends of awareness at the beginning, and the…

Do We Know THIS God?

A special moment happened on my birthday nearly two years ago. It was a few months after Bill died, the time when grief was all-consuming, and felt never-ending. It is during this time I experience God in unexpected ways I never believe possible. THIS God, this one who, when I cry out in distress, answers…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 3)

If you could achieve anything, what would it be? Remember when you were young and stupid and thought smoking was a wonderful way to fit in, so you gave it your all–until it consumed you? It consumed your thoughts, your money, your health. Remember how hard it was when gave up smoking, after becoming dependent,…

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day Two)

Here and Now  Almost didn’t make it a full 24 hours, the carbonated alcohol-water in the fridge, justifying as she does that she isn’t wine, and maybe a rolling-start approach may make better sense. After all, I’ve just spent two weeks without break having wine daily.  Or, better yet, I could begin tomorrow—what’s the big…