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Bottled-Up Dreams

I wonder what Joseph felt in that span of two years–after the surge of excitement at the possible release from his horrible predicament, wondering, waiting for his bottled-up dreams to bubble into reality… Instead, hope faded because of a forgetful individual– …the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him. Over time, I picture…

Scratching the Surface

Sitting here this morning, tidying up this blog site as one does when one doesn’t want to actually work on writing something of significance, I notice a couple of drafts that never made it to publication–from August, 2018. One particular writing had to do with doors; my first post back from hibernation had to do with…

What’s My Why?

It has been awhile, now hasn’t it? Six months ago I decided to take a break from sharing my thoughts with you. As I am sure you are aware, the longer you are without, the easier it is to live without. I guess that is why I wander my fingers over the laptop, hoping they…

A Pause? A Stop? A Breakthrough?

I’m sitting in the bathtub, in lukewarm water. It is 9:30ish. I have been up for hours, pondering how to write something of eloquence to make it official, though not officially sure of what to say–or what I am doing. I reach for my computer. Ten years ago, after my first book was literally stolen…

Glimpses of Life (8): Remission and Reminisce

This pops up on my timeline on Facebook, from one year ago today (May 17, 2016): O Happy Day! Bill’s scans came back clear and he’s officially in remission! Thank you God! And thank you for all your prayers and support! I sit here one year later so full of loss and sadness. I read…

Glimpses of Life (7): Messages and Messes

I’ve never felt so alone. I hear God whispering directly to my soul, “enough.” I don’t feel enough. On my knees in prayer, I told God I felt like I didn’t love Bill right, or maybe even enough, or maybe I even killed him–which is the biggest of all lies. The serpent went to Eve…

Glimpses of Life (6): Dreams

“Bubba, we are going to dream today.” He looks aimlessly around, searching for the man who would sit in the chair every morning and give him a “love down”, that special rub-down from daddy to doggie. Now he looks at me, and sighs. He will guide my dreams, and me. This morning while still in…

Glimpses of Life (5): Home

He is finally home. Yes, he is on the other side of eternity, but he is also here. Next to me. Actually, he will reside most often on his side of the bed. Since we’ve been together, he has wanted that side no matter the bedroom layout. So, I give him his way. It is…

Currently at the Table: Tethered

(To differentiate from the daily writings, Glimpses of Life, when something is shared outside the year-long reflection, it will be titled, “Currently at the Table”.) I enter the bathtub, and quickly fall asleep. It is mid-morning. My arms suspend in mid-air, as if my hands try to grasp something, fully aware of what, or who,…

Glimpses of Life (4): Strength

Strength Yesterday, Bill’s boss told me he heard, from the memorial in Michigan, a coworker comment that I was the strongest person/woman he met. I don’t feel strong. I take a t-shirt last night and use it as a pillowcase to breathe him in–laying beside this inanimate object has the faintest reminder of his nearness.…