#glimpsesoflife

Glimpses of Life (8): Remission and Reminisce

This pops up on my timeline on Facebook, from one year ago today (May 17, 2016): O Happy Day! Bill’s scans came back clear and he’s officially in remission! Thank you God! And thank you for all your prayers and support! I sit here one year later so full of loss and sadness. I read…

Glimpses of Life (7): Messages and Messes

I’ve never felt so alone. I hear God whispering directly to my soul, “enough.” I don’t feel enough. On my knees in prayer, I told God I felt like I didn’t love Bill right, or maybe even enough, or maybe I even killed him–which is the biggest of all lies. The serpent went to Eve…

Glimpses of Life (5): Home

He is finally home. Yes, he is on the other side of eternity, but he is also here. Next to me. Actually, he will reside most often on his side of the bed. Since we’ve been together, he has wanted that side no matter the bedroom layout. So, I give him his way. It is…

Glimpses of Life (4): Strength

Strength Yesterday, Bill’s boss told me he heard, from the memorial in Michigan, a coworker comment that I was the strongest person/woman he met. I don’t feel strong. I take a t-shirt last night and use it as a pillowcase to breathe him in–laying beside this inanimate object has the faintest reminder of his nearness.…

Glimpses of Life (3): The Promise

The Promise I promised I wouldn’t kill myself. I willed my feet to sprint until my lungs collapsed, and my heart stopped beating. But I stopped, exhausted. “Help me, God.” Help. How do I do this? How do I go on when reminders of your fingerprint cause an ache so deep, it penetrates beyond the…

Glimpses of Life: Day Two

Sitting outside staring at the last of the blooms from the tree that was planted in honor of the man who died of cancer. No, not my husband, but the former occupant of this residence. We just make it back today after a whirlwind of memorials in two states, and in exhaustion, hit the bed…

Glimpses of Life: Day One

I sit here on my deck, nursing a recent tattoo touchup, while reading the end pages of a memoir of a lady diagnosed with early-onset dementia. Minutes earlier, I read a post about a wonderful woman who died of cancer in 2017– a writer up to the near-end. Every one of her posts were reposted…