essays.

Crazy Faith Moments

By Josette Barone / September 23, 2019 /

Okay, people who know me best know I’m a little off kilter. I believe they like me this way. At least I hope they do. So, here goes. I have this weird agreement with God–Every time I see a Q-tip, I promise to share publicly through a blog post. Well, not every time. Like when…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Days 21-22)

By Josette Barone / September 23, 2019 /

Mirror Image Who do I look up to? Yes, I know it is not a grammatically correct question. It’s not exactly an easy answer though either, finding a person to represent all that is what I desire to model as a human being. I look up to many-a-person for many reasons. Like the one who starts…

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Do We Know THIS God? Part Three: Wings of Hope

By Josette Barone / September 22, 2019 /

Journal Entry – May, 2017 (Shortly after Bill’s death): People have said how hard it must be for an unbeliever, because at least a believer has hope to hold onto in times of adversity. Honestly, there may be a measure of truth to this statement, but the timing of such blankets me with a heaviness of…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 20)

By Josette Barone / September 21, 2019 /

Limits I place an invisible boundary line around alcohol. Do not cross over. If you do, you are a failure.  The struggle begins.  Not necessarily from a weak moment, but the expectation I’ve placed on myself.  One that requires perfection at all costs.  After all, alcohol is bad.  Bad people drink alcohol.  You are a…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 19)

By Josette Barone / September 20, 2019 /

My daughter caught me in mid-change one day and comments, “You take off your shirt like a guy.” Oh. Apparently there is a gender-specific way one takes off a shirt, specifically the kind you need to pull over your head.  I guess a “guy” pulls from the top of the back of the shirt, and…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Days 17 & 18)

By Josette Barone / September 19, 2019 /

(17) Do not settle. I see the personalized license plate out of the corner of my eye as I am rounding the bend to a parking space:  DNTSETLE Don’t settle.  Settle for what? Don’t settle for less than. Less than what I am capable. Less than what I am _____________________? Possibly settling in comfort, of…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Day 16)

By Josette Barone / September 18, 2019 /

Last night Oscar the border collie’s light snore caused irritability to rise up my spine. Reminded me of Bill’s snore–one, yes one, of the things I do not miss. It would start with a “poof” exhale, and build momentum until the speed and sound of a roaring freight train exited the back of his throat.…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Days 14 & 15)

By Josette Barone / September 17, 2019 /

(14) Two weeks. Two weekends. Both on the other side, well, at least I can say this after today.  I read something this morning of a person who challenged herself to go without social media and TV for 30 days, and she didn’t feel at all deprived, but accomplished things she though she either didn’t…

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In the Middle

In the Middle of Alcohol-Free (Days 12 & 13)

By Josette Barone / September 16, 2019 /

(12) Simple, be gentle with yourself.  My emotions are raw. I’m on the edge. I have a party tonight, and likely it’s nothing to do with the get together as much as I need to break through the wall—the wall that feels encroaching, about to suffocate me.  I’ve accomplished nothing but battle the voices, with…

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Do We Know THIS God? Part Two: Hope Calls

By Josette Barone / September 15, 2019 /

A moment from two months to the day after Bill departed from here. June 29, 2017 I’m talking with a friend while driving, about dying and feeling like I cannot bear to live, when she comments that a part of me did die when Bill died. She feels what I am really feeling is that…

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